Own Your Evolution

I work as a licensed therapist (LCSW-C in Maryland) Certified Martha Beck Life Coach for women seeking their truth. I help clients design a vibrant life by tuning into their internal wisdom, using mindfulness practices, spirituality and nutrition. I am located next to at 626 Trail Avenue, Frederick, Maryland directly next to Frederick Memorial Hospital. Find out more at www.ownyourevolution.com.
Own Your Evolution
Own Your Evolution at Own Your Evolution.Thursday, August 17th, 2017 at 10:15am
when asked last week by a local business woman what i do, what came out of my mouth was: i give permission slips to adults (and myself) to say one of the scariest words: no. hell no. no. no. fuck no.

then work through all the things that brings up.

"they won't like me."
"i'll be rejected/abandoned/left behind."
"the community will think less of me."
"i will end up poor, lonely, homeless and beleaguered."
"they won't understand."

that is nearly always what it boils down to and why we twist our mouth up to force out a yes, instead of a no. we want to be accepted and liked, validated and admired. we all do. our ego is so hungry for this. after all that is it's main job, to ensure our status is up to par and we shine in others eyes.

except in doing this, we often abandon and leave ourselves behind; which is our only true home. we end up squandering or giving away our mental, emotional and financial resources in a way that doesn't lend itself to abundance. our mental energy is so busy on how to get our needs met while maintaining a pleasant faux yes that we can miss opportunities and lose the respect we so desperately want from others, for ourselves.

no. you cannot degrade me with your words, gestures, behavior.

no. you cannot use substances in our home and put me at risk legally.

no. i cannot work the extra hours you need right now.

no. you cannot destroy my property with your carelessness and inconsideration.

no. you cannot continue to be an unequal business partner, life partner, friend partner.

no. i don't agree with that diagnosis. it doesn't feel true and i'll move on to find something that makes sense to me. it's my body.

no: actually this isn't a good time to interrupt my work, personal time with your agenda.

no. that event/charity/private Facebook page/fundraising/PTA
/product isn't something that interests me at this time.

no. you cannot misrepresent me in the community with no legal recourse. not on my watch.

no. i won't continue to support you financially. you're capable. go and be in this world.

what would you add? what is begging you for a no.

mine is not to water down my writings to make "everyone" happy. to be totally ok with offending, disappointing and being absolutely misunderstood. my ego has a lot to say about that, but i keep an open dialogue with her that helps her settle (usually.)

spill your no. at least to yourself. keep walking to your yes's.

#ownyourevolution #owningmyevolution #thenest #boutiquepsychotherapy #owningyourno
Own Your Evolution
Own Your EvolutionWednesday, August 16th, 2017 at 9:39am
true story.
Own Your Evolution
Own Your EvolutionTuesday, August 15th, 2017 at 5:11pm
there is of jamming going on in my life about narcissism; not affecting me directly but people i hold close.

this article is a good digestible read and will hit you smack in the heart and gut if you've ever been trying to "relationship" with one. it's written from a woman's perspective but men are absolutely not exempt from doing the tango with NPD (narcissist personality disorder or as i like to code it in non ICD-10 style: F Run. as in urgently flee.)

there is a support group forming for women by a local Frederick, Maryland psychotherapist. (there also needs to be one for the way too kind/generous/tender men who have found themselves or are currently in this tricky trap.) "

excerpt:

"When I say “I love you” I mean that I love how hard you work to make me feel like your everything, that I am the focus of your life, that you want me to be happy, and that I’ll never be expected to do the same."

"I love the power I have to take advantage of your kindness and intentions to be nice, and the pleasure I derive when I make myself feel huge in comparison to you, taking every opportunity to make you feel small and insignificant."

if this article has you yelling yes. Yes. YES. please go, learn and find a way out of the emotional prison.

http://articlesbrain.com/what-it-means-when-a-narcissist-says-i-love-you/
Own Your Evolution
Own Your Evolution updated their profile picture.Monday, August 14th, 2017 at 12:41pm
Photo courtesy of Sarah Laughland Photography.

#ownyourevolution #thenest #boutiquepsychotherapy #messyhairdontcare
Own Your Evolution
Own Your Evolution updated their cover photo.Monday, August 14th, 2017 at 11:19am